Giggl

Star Wars Day : Episode 2

AnotherCraig — Wed, 09 May 2012 11:23:54 +0000

A few years ago (back in 1997) I heard the “Star Wars Day” joke. I can’t remember where I heard it, but I thought it was great. That year, on the 4th May, I passed the joke on and told everyone I knew that it was Star Wars Day. When they asked me what I meant, I replied “May the Fourth Be With You!” and laughed like an anarchic fool.

The year after, in about 1998, it was no longer a new joke to me. I’d heard it and re-told it myself last year. In 1998 I heard other people saying it. In 1997 I felt like a maverick, firing out the new Star Wars joke to all and sundry after adding it to my jokey repertoire, whereas in 1998 it felt old.

So, over the last 14 years, I must have heard this same Star Wars joke every single year. So many people have said it to me over this time as the joke had obviously spread far and wide. I’ve actually got a little bored of hearing it.

Nowadays, even when I start chats about other things, people managed to crow-bar the Star Wars joke in.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I felt it was time to create a new one.

It occured to me that there was no way any joke I could write could better the May the Fourth joke. It was just too established. I started to think of other Star Wars puns that could be used as references to dates near to May 4th.

The day after the 4th was (obviously) May the Fifth, and the closest Star Warsy rhyme I could think of for that was was Sith. Sith is a really quite Star Warsy word indeed. Out of the ideas I had, (and there weren’t actually that many,) I liked “Revenge Of The Fifth” the most. So on the 1st of May, and without sharing my only real idea, I asked the people in the world of Twitter what their opinion was.

“Revenge Of The Fifth” was suggested by independent people who didn’t already know the idea I’d had. It must be a good one!

And so the day after Star Wars day, on the 5th May, I unleashed my new Star Wars joke via Twitter.

It got one ReTweet.

So I mentioned it an hour or so later, and it got a few more.

In total I mentioned it 9 times in one day, and over the course of the day all these lovely people all RT’d it.

In total these people had over ten thousand followers, which means that my joke suddenly went from having an audience of 1400 (my own follower numbers) to having an audience of ten thousand. But was that enough to make it popular?

I wasn’t sure. I felt it needed another boost. That evening I got in touch with a radio station and told them to remind people that today was Star Wars Day Episode 2 : Revenge of the Fifth.

They did!

Click here to hear the radio clip.

So with an audience of tens of thousands on Twitter and an audience of radio listeners, I was happy.

Later that night I saw a friend on Facebook set their status to “Star Wars Day : Revenge Of The Fifth!” Now I hadn’t put anything about it on Facebook, mainly because I don’t like it, and so the fact that it appeared on there MUST mean that the joke had been passed around quite a lot. I asked then where they had heard the joke.

My joke had appeared on Twitter, on Facebook and on the Radio. This MUST be enough to qualify it as a good one!

Today, on 9th May, I Googled “Star Wars Day Revenge of the Fifth” All of the results were for pages on sites with dates and times after my original post. The first time I used the joke in full was on the 4th May: https://twitter.com/#!/80sNostalgia/status/198366986386939904

Have I actually invented a joke?!?

So remember next year, after you’ve all said your traditional Star Wars Day joke on the 4th May, the day after is now officially…

Star Wars Day Episode 2 – Revenge Of The Fifth.

Oxford English Dictionary

AnotherCraig — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 21:19:01 +0000

Why is the English language so inconsistent? I proposed a solution to correct a very small part of it.

From: Craig A
To: Oxford English Dictionary
Subject: A Bit Of Help

Hi OED.

Could you do me a favour and switch a couple of pronunciations around please?

The ones I need switched are for Loose and Lose. They need switching because they are obviously currently the wrong way around.

Everyone knows that any word that features two Os has an “OO” sound, so it doesn’t make sense that Lose is pronounced “Looz.”

For the same reason, it also doesn’t make sense that Loose is pronounced without the double O sound, as “Luce.”

So if you could arrange it so that Lose is pronounced “Luce” and Loose is pronounced “Looz”, that would really help.

Thanks,

Craig A.

From: OEDUK
To: Craig A
Subject: re: A Bit Of Help

Dear Mr Anderson

Thank you for your email to the Oxford English Dictionary regarding the pronunciation of the words ‘loose’ and ‘lose’.

The pronunciations we give reflect how people are actually using the language; the aim of Oxford Dictionaries is to be descriptive, not prescriptive. In other words, when we’re writing an entry we combine our understanding of how the word is used in the language with an analysis of a wide range of resources.

Best wishes
Janette Stevens
www.oed.com
www.oxforddictionaries.com

I’m not shure what all them big words meen, but I think she meant “No”.

Letter from Santa

AnotherCraig — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 09:07:17 +0000

From: Craig
To: Santa, Workshop.
Subject: Blacklisted?!?

Dear Santa.

Thanks for your disappointing letter.

Just to recap…

You only allow a certain type of behaviour

You blacklist people who don’t conform

You’re threatening me with the wrath of fictional characters

Are you running some sort of cult?

I have a friend who could probably give you great rates on advertising if you’re looking to recruit new members?

Merry Christmas!

Craig.

From: Santa
To: Craig, (naughty list)
Subject: re: Blacklisted?!?

Dear Craig,

Make that December 2016.

Ho ho ho!

Santa.

Kids, don’t argue with Santa.

Scam Warning!!!!1!

AnotherCraig — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:38:00 +0000

A few days ago I received this kind warning from a friend. It was a scary email warning about hackers. We’ve all had emails like this, and we’ve all either ignored them or had a brief panic about them. I thought it best to investigate…

From: Email Contact
To: Craig
Subject: Fw: Fw: VERY URGENT – PLEASE READ – NOT A JOKE (better safe than sorry)

: Fw: VERY URGENT – PLEASE READ – NOT A JOKE (better safe than sorry)

PASS THIS ON!

IF A PERSON CALLED SIMON ASHTON ( SIMON***@HOTMAIL.CO.UK ) CONTACTS YOU THROUGH EMAIL DON’T OPEN THE MESSAGE. DELETE IT BECAUSE HE IS A HACKER!!

TELL EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ON YOUR LIST ADDS HIM THEN YOU WILL GET HIM ON YOUR LIST. HE WILL FIGURE OUT YOUR ID COMPUTER ADDRESS, SO COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE EVEN IF YOU DONT CARE FOR THEM AND FAST BECAUSE IF HE HACKS THEIR EMAIL HE HACKS YOUR MAIL TOO!!!!!……

Anyone-using Internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on. This information arrived this morning, Direct from both Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet. You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail titled ‘Mail Server Report’

If you open either file, a message will appear on your screen saying: ‘It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful.’

Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC,
And the person who o sent it to you will gain access to your name, e-mail and password.

This is a new virus which started to circulate on Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the antivirus software’s are not capable of destroying it .

The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself ‘life owner’..

PLEASE SEND A COPY OF THIS E-MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, And ask them to
PASS IT ON IMMEDIATELY!

Take Care

From: Craig Anderson
To: “SIMON***@HOTMAIL.CO.UK”
Subject: Fw: Fw: VERY URGENT – PLEASE READ – NOT A JOKE (better safe than sorry)

Hi Simon.

I got a warning email from a friend saying that this email address belongs to a hacker. The word “hacker” is also followed with two exclamation marks, so it sounds quite serious. I just wanted to confirm whether you are a hacker or not.

I also wanted to address a few potential inaccuracies in the warning email, just in case you are a hacker. The inaccuracies are probably the fault of the sender of the warning email, ut just in case you’re new to the world of hacking I thought I’d let you know too.

The email says that if I add you to my list, you will find out my “ID COMPUTER ADDRESS.” Rather than ID address, I’m assuming they (or you) mean IP address? If you are a hacker, and you’re looking for my ID address, you could be looking for the wrong thing as my ID won’t be of much use to you. I’m not even sure that ID COMPUTER ADDRESS is even a real thing. If it is an IP you’re looking for, then you may find this site of some use – http://whatismyipaddress.com

It appears that both Microsoft AND Norton are aware of you and your ambiguous “Mail Server Report” email. Personally I think you have chosen a bad subject title for a hacking email. Not everyone will want to open an email with “Mail Server Report” as the title, as it doesn’t sound interesting. Most people would be wary of opening it, simply because it sounds like a hacking email.

Back in the day when I was a hacker, I always found sending emails with the subject “You have received a Greeting Card” got the best results. Who cares about servers? Getting a free greeting card from a friend always rocks!

The warning email also says that a message will appear, once I’ve opened your infected email, saying “It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful.”

Do you know the phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? That phrase is often misinterpreted. People take it too literally and believe it to mean that if a person sees beautiful things, they too will be beautiful. This isn’t the case. The phrase actually means that people see different things in different lights. People see beauty in different ways. A rock, for example, may be quite a dull thing to one person, whereas to another person it may be a fascinating, beautiful thing. Different people see different aspects of everything and so a boring thing to one person may the most amazing thing to another.

With that in mind, how exactly will you make MY life less beautiful? Things of beauty, to me, are vibrant, colourful things. It doesn’t matter what the thing is, as long as it is vibrant, fresh and full of colour. Do you have the ability to drain colour from things in everyday life, or to hypnotise me into seeing everything as quite blasé? If your hacking skills surpass the usual “gathering-personal-info-from-a-PC” and involve controlling peoples minds after they have opened an email, then you are way more advanced than I believed at first! I suggest you leave the hacking thing behind and concentrate on a career as a mind reader or a mentalist. You may want to contact Derren Brown. He loves things like this! His website is here – Derren Brown’s Website

I’m also having problems understanding the following paragraph; “Subsequently [after opening the email] you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC, And the person who o sent it to you will gain access to your name, e-mail and password.” How, exactly, do you plan to take everything from IN my PC? My graphics card, for example, is far too big to fit down the telephone line. Is it just my data you will be (trying badly) to steal? The warning was a little ambiguous.

If the claim is correct, I’m impressed that you have been able to create a virus that antivirus software is not capable of destroying! Mightily impressed! Have you thought about contacting newspapers? They love reporting on this sort of thing. You could be in for some sort of award, or a huge payout from Norton! It could even pay for you to move out from your parents after you pass your G.C.S.E.s!

And why do you call yourself ‘Life owner’? Everyone already knows that your name is Simon Ashton; it says so at the top of the email.

If you are trying to take over the world with your hacking skills, I think you may be going about it all wrong. In summary, I’d change your email subject to something more appealing, I’d learn more about computer terminology and probably get a spell checker.

If you’re not a hacker, ignore everything above.

Craig Anderson
Head of Now (twicm) renumbering
EMI.

From: “MAILER-DAEMON@yahoo.com”
To: email_4_craig@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, 2 December 2011, 13:01
Subject: Failure Notice

Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message to the following address.

[simon***@hotmail.co.uk]
Remote host said: mailbox does not exist

Now Thats What I Call Music email

AnotherCraig — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:16:58 +0000

From: Craig
To: EMI contact
Subject: Issue with NOW albums

Hi EMI.

I have a concern. It may take a short while to explain, as it is quite in depth, but please bear with me.

Along with releasing music for the vast array of artists you have signed to your record label, you’re also well known for releasing sequentially numbered NOW (Thats What I Call Music) albums. I still have a few very early NOW (twicm) double albums on vinyl featuring, oddly, a pig on the cover. What was all that about?!?

Since their release in 1983 all was going well with you releasing the numbered albums in order; Now 13, for example, was followed by Now 14, then Now 15… etc. Last time I checked you were up to NOW 79 which is a great ratio of 3.2 albums per year!

But….. A few years ago you released special compilation albums, like NOW 1980. The first time I saw Now 1980 I was a bit confused. I thought that either I had been transported into the future and missed a huge block of numbers, or you had forgotten how to count. However after looking at the tracks on the CD, I realised that you meant the year 1980, and you hadn’t actually released NOW 1,980.

After releasing these special compilations, you reverted to the original numberings continuing to release NOW albums in sequential numerical order.

Now, something has occurred to me that you have maybe not considered. In 590 years time, when the sequential numbers actually reach NOW 1,979, what are you going to call the next album? You can’t call it NOW 1980, because you’ve already used that number. I know I’m talking about something 587 years in the future, (or 472.5 years if you get a crack on and release 4 per year rather than your current ratio of 3.2 per year,) but it concerns me that you haven’t thought this thorough properly.

You’ll have the same problem of duplicate numbers for each special compilation you have released, if NOW #### has already been used.

Obviously it won’t directly affect you as a person, as human life has an average lifespan of far less than 590 years, but it is very likely to affect your descendants.

You may be thinking that it is so far in the future that it won’t affect you, but it is this kind of slapdash thinking that leaves many businesses paddle-less in a certain type of dirty creek, if you know what I mean.

I have, therefore, thought about a few ideas that will help avoid the issue. You are free to implement any of them, and I’m confident they will help your company avoid any confusion.

You could suffix all duplicate numbers with v2, so people wouldn’t get confused between the two. NOW 1980 would remain the original and NOW 1980 v2 would be version 2 of the same number.
You could prefix all duplicate numbers with #, the international symbol for “number”, differentiating it from the “year” one, as in NOW #1980.
Maybe you could add the words “New and Improved” to the front of the word NOW, so it would become “New and Improved NOW 1980”
Adding a comma to all numbers over 999 would also be a great idea, however it may still confuse search engines.

I hope I have given you ideas-a-plenty on how to avoid the inevitable confusion, and please let me know which, if any, you decide to use.

Thanks, EMI!

Craig.

*Sorry if “albums” isn’t the right word – I’m 37 and thats what they were called when I was young.

From: EMI contact
To: Craig
Subject: re: Issue with NOW albums

>>Hi EMI.

>>I have a concern. It may take a short while to explain, as it is quite in depth, but please bear with me.

>>Along with releasing music for the vast array of artists you have signed to your record label, you’re also well…

etc…..

From: Craig
To: EMI contact
Subject: re: re: Issue with NOW albums

Hi again EMI.

I emailed you in the middle of November with a query relating to the way your NOW albums are numbered. In reply to my query, you seem to have just forwarded my query back to me.

I’m unsure how to interpret your reply. What I am supposed to do with my own query? Are you returning it to me in some sort of Mr. Miyagi way, posing some sort of philosophical quandary in which I think about the problem myself along with its consequences and hone my morals?

Maybe, like Daniel-san, if we were to meet in real life you’d ask that I wax your car or paint your fence. I’d do it, obviously, but I wouldn’t know WHY I was doing it. Well, not until you came at me a few days later with fists ablazing and I’d realise that, along with giving your Ford Fiesta a crispy sheen, I’d actually been learning self defence.

Maybe you would prefer me to sort the issue out myself? It is something I queried and so obviously something that affects me. Is the fact that you’ve given it back to me a good thing or a bad thing? Have you returned it to me because, maybe, I’M a good person or a bad person? I never knew that the decision on how to number NOW albums was based so much in the “absurd” branch of existentialism.

I’ve considered all the potential reasons why you have posed my question to me, and I can only assume that you are making me in charge of sorting it out. Excellent!

I’ve always wanted to get my foot in the door with some big music corporate, and so I thank you for giving me this opportunity. How many staff do I have? When do I get paid? What perks of the job are there? Am I now exempt from prosecution if I download copyrighted EMI music now? Brilliant!

I await further information relating to my new employment, and I’ve amended my email signature accordingly in preparation for this new venture.

Craig Anderson
Head of Now (twicm) renumbering
EMI.

80sNostalgia Classic TV Reviews

AnotherCraig — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 20:48:51 +0000

80sNostalgia, one of my other sites, is undergoing a huge revamp. It is moving servers for the first time in 6 years and, to celebrate it becoming a teenager, (2012 marks it’s 13th year online!) I thought I would treat it to brand new additional content.

The 80s was a huge decade, for TV especially, with hundreds of shows airing or making their début. Because it was so huge, I haven’t always been able to find the time to add new content to 80sNostalgia as often as I would like. If you look through the Classic TV section, for example, there are so many missing descriptions of Classic TV shows. I just haven’t got the time to write about them all.

So I have decided to open up a huge section of 80sNostalgia to you, fellow fans of the 80s.

If you would like to contribute your memories of 80s TV, by writing a description of a show and see your name in websitey lights, then please have a look through the list of shows below. It isn’t a definitive list of every 80s TV programme, as there are far more 80s programmes than I have listed, but it is a list of the most searched for programmes on here. Adding details to the programmes listed here first will be of more instant help to the majority of visitors.

If you would like to contribute:

Take a look at the list below. If you would like to write the description for any programme, please email me first (reviews@80snostalgia.com) to say which one(s) you would like to write a description for. Emailing and getting the confirmation that you are the only author first ensures that you are guaranteed to have your writing published. Without this system, if 5 people instantly write and email me great descriptions for the same programme, I will only be able to publish one of them, meaning 4 people will have written descriptions for nothing. This seems the fairest way of deciding whose articles to publish.

If you would like to write more than 1 description, please list the shows you would like to write about in your email, up to a maximum of 5. Whichever shows you are confirmed as writing about will be reserved for you for 2 weeks from the date of the confirmation email. If you do not submit a review for a show you have been confirmed for within 2 weeks, it will go back into the pool and someone else may become the author.

Only claim the shows that you genuinely have time and knowledge to write about. If you would like to claim more after writing and submitting your first ones, you are very welcome to! Doing them in batches of no more than 5 ensures you don’t take on more than you can deal with in 2 weeks, AND leaves other people a choice too.

If you have written anything for any other websites in the past, please forward a link to your work in your email. You don’t HAVE to have written anything online before to have your descriptions published here, but if more than one person asks to write about the same show it will help me to decide who to allocate that show to.

PLEASE use proper full English words and correct grammar in your descriptions. The people you are writing descriptions for are around the 30 – 45 year old mark. IF they are anything like me, they won’t understand abbreviated slang words or TXT spk. It will also please my friends, the Internet Search Engines.

The description should include a brief synopsis of the show, maybe talk about the characters in it, an overview of the plot lines, when it aired from and to, any memorable moments in it, and can be written in an amusing way if you like. There should be no bad language, nothing libelous, and no descriptions that could be seen as insulting – I’m often in contact with people who worked in TV in the 80s, and arranging interviews or competition prizes is quite hard if reviews on my site slander their work.

On average the descriptions already on 80sNostalgia are around 500 words. There are usually a few paragraphs, and a few pictures. If you can find the time to write the descriptions, I will add all the images.

If you can also include a link to the intro to the programme on YouTube, that would also be an immense help. It isn’t necessary, but it would help.

So have a look through the list below, and if you see anything you like (things with lines through are already written,) and would like to take part, just let me know via reviews@80snostalgia.com

Action Force
~~Airwolf~~
~~Alf~~
Asterix
Aubrey
~~The A-Team~~
The Adventure Game

~~Bagpuss~~
~~Bananaman~~
Barbapapa
Basil Brush
~~Batfink~~
Battle Of The Planets
Battlestar Galactica
~~Bertha~~
Blue Thunder
~~Bod~~
~~Button Moon~~
~~The Banana Splits~~
The Box Of Delights

~~Captain Caveman~~
Captain Pugwash
Care Bears
~~Charley Says…~~
Charlie Chalk
Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers
Chorlton and the Wheelies
~~Count Duckula~~
Crystal Tipps And Alistair
The Chipmunks
~~The Clangers~~

~~Danger Mouse~~
~~Dastardly & Muttley~~
~~Defenders Of The Earth~~
Dempsey and Makepeace
~~Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds~~
Dreamstone
Droids
~~Dungeons and Dragons~~
The Double Deckers

~~Ewoks~~

~~Family Ness~~
Fantastic Max
~~Fingerbobs~~
Fireman Sam
Fred Basset
~~The Flumps~~

Galaxy Rangers
~~Garbage Pail Kids~~
Garfield
GoBots
Going For Gold
Going Live!
Gran
Grange Hill
The Get Along Gang

~~The Hair Bear Bunch~~
~~He-Man~~
Heathcliff
Hector’s House
Hi-De-Hi
Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy
~~Hong Kong Phooey~~
Huxley Pig

Inch High Private Eye
Incredible Hulk
Inspector Gadget

~~James The Cat~~
~~Jamie and the Magic Torch~~
Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors
~~Jimbo And The Jetset~~
The Jetsons
~~Jossys Giants~~

Kissyfur
~~Knight Rider~~
Knightmare

Ludwig
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe

M.A.S.K.
Mary, Mungo And Midge
Miami Vice
Mighty Mouse
Monkey
Moondial
Morph
~~Moschops~~
~~Mr. Benn~~
Mr. Magoo
Muppet Babies
~~Mysterious Cities Of Gold~~
The Magic Roundabout
The Munsters

Noah and Nelly
Not the Nine O’Clock News

~~Orm and Cheep~~
Out Of This World

Penelope Pitstop
Pipkins
Play School
Pob
Poddington Peas
Pole Position
Postman Pat
Puff The Magic Dragon

The Raccoons
~~The Raggy Dolls~~
~~Rainbow~~
Rainbow Brite
Real Ghostbusters
Rentaghost
Road Runner
Robocop
~~Roland Rat : The Series~~
~~Roobarb and Custard~~

~~Secret Squirrel~~
She-Ra
Smurfs
Snagglepuss
Sooty and Sweep
~~Space Sentinels~~
~~Speed Racer~~
~~Spitting Image~~
Star Fleet
~~Starcom~~
~~Stoppit and Tidyup~~
~~Storybook International~~
~~Street Hawk~~
~~Super Ted~~
~~Super Gran~~

Mr. T
T-Bag
Teddy Ruxpin
Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles
~~Telebugs~~
~~Terrahawks~~
The Tomorrow People
~~The Trap Door~~
~~The Tripods~~
Thomas The Tank Engine
~~Thundercats~~
Tintin
~~Tiswas~~
Top Cat
Touche Turtle
Transformers

~~Ulysses 31~~

V
The Village With Three Corners
Voltron

~~Wacky Races~~
~~Wait Till Your Father Gets Home~~
War Games
~~What-a-Mess~~
~~Willo The Wisp~~
Wizbit
The Wombles
~~Worzel Gummidge~~

Query to Heinz

AnotherCraig — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:20:00 +0000

Heinz have released their “Squeeze and Serve” soups. They are a squeezy sachet of concentrated soup that you squeeze into a cup, then add water to. They look delicious!

But I had a query with their Mediterranean Vegetable soup, so I filled in the online query form on their website.

Hi people of Heinz.

Is there an email address I can email a query to? Your online form is perfect for short queries, but my query is longer than your query box will allow.

Thanks,

Craig.

I got a reply about an hour later!

From: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
To: Craig
Subject: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****A.

Dear Mr Anderson

Thank you for your Email contact.

Please get in touch with us on our free phone number 08000152075 from UK landlines and quote reference number 00151****A so we can help you further.
We look forward to hearing from you.

Regards

Peter

So I sent this later that day…

From: Craig A
To: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
Subject: Re: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****A.

Hi there.

Thanks for getting back to me with advice to phone you.

I’m sorry, I know you are not big scary people, but I much prefer to email. Is this the right email address to use?

Thanks so much for your understanding.

Craig.

I got a reply within 30 minutes!

From: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
To: Craig
Subject: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****B.

Dear Mr Anderson

Thank you for contacting us with regard to your enquiry.

You can email our department at : consumercare@*********

We hope the above information is helpful.

Regards

Peter

I obviously had the right email address, and I knew people were there because I was getting replies within the hour. They were showing far better customer service than any other company I have ever emailed, (except the wonderful Nethosted whose query reply time, when I used to use them years ago, was usually no more than 12 minutes!)

I decided to email my query…

From: Craig A
To: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
Subject: Re: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****B.

Hello Heinz

I read with interest that you had released “Squeeze and Stir” soups. They appear to be a condensed soup in a large sachet. From what I can gather, you squeeze the contents into a cup, then you pour in boiling water, then stir. With the addition of the boiling water, it transforms into a real soup. I guess it is pretty much a liquid version of cup-a-soup, but far less powdery. Don’t get me wrong, I love cup-a-soup. In fact I went through a stage about a year ago when I are nothing but cup-a-soup. I even emailed Batchelors about it, but I can’t for the life of me remember what for. Oh well.

I have a question about one of your new soups from your new range, in particular the Mediterranean Vegetable.

The list of ingredients says it contains, amongst other things, Tomato (63%), Courgette (3%), Onions (3%) and Red Pepper (2%). I’ll refer to these 4 ingredients as the “fresh” ingredients. These 4 “fresh” ingredients alone account for 71% of the total ingredients. The remaining 29% are a mix of water, sugar, olive oil and seasoning.

So I wondered why you called it “Vegetable Soup”?

The only vegetable in the recipe, making up 3% of the total ingredients, is onion. 68% of the “fresh” ingredients, (Tomatoes, courgettes and peppers,) are fruits. Obviously water and sugar are not a vegetables, olive oil and cornflower are not vegetables, and the seasonings are also not vegetables.

In that 97% of the ingredients are NOT vegetables, but the majority of them (68%) fruits, surely a more appropriate name would be Fruit Soup.

Your website states “Heinz policy of continuous product improvement may result in a change to the label” and so I thought I’d let you know quite quickly in case you needed to recall everything and reprint the packaging. The last thing you need is some know-it-all getting in touch and pointing this sort of thing out, before you’ve had chance to rectify the issue!!!1!

If you could let me know whether you are recalling all the Mediterranean Vegetable soups, I’ll gather up the ones I have bought and post them back to you for reprinting.

Thanks,

Craig.

From: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
To: Craig
Subject: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****C.

Hi Craig

Thank you for your query we looking into this for you.

Regards

Peter

From: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
To: Craig
Subject: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****D.

Hi Mr Anderson

Thank you for getting in touch.

It would be generally understood by a consumer that soup made with these ingredients would be described as a vegetable soup even though botanically it might be fruit.

We thank you for your comments and have shared this with our soups team.

Regards

Jennie

From: Craig A
To: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
Subject: Re: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****D.

Hi again.

I do like your use of the word “botanically.” You are, of course, correct; the assumption with the general public is that a soup containing these ingredients may well be seen as a Vegetable Soup. But ALL companies make a variation of “Vegetable Soup.” If you follow my suggestion, you COULD be the first to make “Fruit Soup.”

With such a bold step you could become known as the soup mavericks, continuing to lead the market but in an exciting and new way! You’re already the market leaders, but adopting this new outlook and product name could further extend your lead!

I’ve even thought up a tagline that you could use for advertising purposes, if you were to adopt the idea:

“Heinz Fruit Soup – The same as Vegetable soup, but botanically correct.”

(Having read that back a few times, it actually isn’t that catchy is it? Sorry.)

I think you are the first company I have emailed who have a Soups Team. Are there many in the Soups Team? Would you mind passing on my thanks to them all for being involved in the discussion. I know they’re all probably busy making or designing soup, but it might make their day a little more cheery if you could pass on my thanks to them.

Finally, are the Soups Team working on anything top secret at the moment? They couldn’t give me a sneaky peek at any upcoming projects, could they? I promise I won’t tell anyone!

Thanks in advance,

Craig.

From: Heinz Consumer Care UK and ROI
To: Craig
Subject: Communication from H. J. Heinz 00151****E.

Dear Mr Anderson

Thank you for getting in touch with us about our HJ Heinz Products.

We have shared your thoughts with our Research, Packaging and Design team.

We always appreciate feedback so thank you again for letting us know your views.

Derek Smythe

I could tell they were bored of me, and so I decided to stop emailing before I became too annoying. I hope that was ok, Kerry…

Reply to the comment on my Sainsbury’s email

AnotherCraig — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:38:57 +0000

A few weeks ago I emailed Sainsbury’s. The reason I emailed them was because I picked up a recipe card in-store that listed an ingredient they didn’t sell in that store. So I went to a different store, and they didn’t sell it either. If you’d like to read my original emails, they’re here – Complaint to Sainsbury’s.

I’ve had a few comments left by visitors that, for one reason or another, I have decided not to publish. Either they were insulting, or they used bad language, or they were a bit spammy. The one below, however, seems genuinely upset by my email and so I thought I had better respond publically.

I’ve underlined the spelling and grammatical errors, just because I’m annoying like that.

Comment from Kerry Anee
November 13, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Are you stupid? Just because a recipe card says you NEED the chilli plant doesn’t mean it’s the only chilli type or the only chilli plant which will work for the recipe, all red chillies are the same – they’re used for pallet heat.
Sainsburys only put there own items on there to promote their own branded products, but you are not expected to only stick to their own brands.

I find it ridiculous (that) you went to all that trouble over something so stupid and idiotic, use some common sense. Sainsbury’s should have had more in stock, but they didn’t. Get over it.

Oh, and for future reference – seeing as you’re in the NW, Sains Salford, and Fallowfield stock them, i’ve seen them.

Kerry Anee

Hi Kerry.

I WAS going to reply to your email in a very sarcastic way, just highlighting and correcting your spelling and grammatical errors, (there are arguably between 7 and 9,) and being as angry back as you appear to have been to me, but I thought it might be a better idea to actually also address the points you raised. I prefer doing this because, by nature, I’m not a shouty person.

I know there will be a likelihood that when you read my replies back, you will do it in a sarcastic tone or an angry voice. This is not the tone in which I wrote them. I wrote them in a calm, explanatory voice. If they initially seem grumpy or snappy, please re-read them with this in mind. They will sound much nicer.

Are you stupid?

No, I’m not stupid. Although I don’t need to prove my intelligence as such, I will say that I do have an IQ of 148, which was confirmed by Mensa in a private, monitored test. I didn’t just fill in an online quiz and get a generic IQ prediction from a random site that claims to accurately calculate this sort of thing. My papers were marked and graded by a human Mensa lecturer and I have the paperwork confirming my IQ on Mensa headed paper. I dig it out occasionally and look at it to remind myself how ace I am.

I’m joking about the last bit.

Just because a recipe card says you NEED the chilli plant doesn’t mean it’s the only chilli type or the only chilli plant which will work for the recipe…

The recipe specifies this specific chilli plant as a “Key Ingredient”. The basis for my complaint wasn’t that without this chilli a similar recipe can’t be made, my argument is that without using the chilli they recommend the recipe will not be authentic. They must have tested a few chillis and decided this one is the best, and so I was unhappy that the one they specified is not available. It may be my OCD side that needs things to be authentic, but you would think that if a huge company such as Sainsbury’s publishes a recipe they would at least ensure that all the ingredients are available? Isn’t that part of quality control?

…all red chillies are the same – they’re used for pallet heat.

Chillies have varying degrees of spiciness, but generally the rule is this; the smaller the chilli the hotter it will be. As I don’t know how big the chillis are on the Sainsbury’s Chilli Plant, mainly because I couldn’t find one, if I were to use any other chilli it may give an inaccurate representation of how hot the recipe should be. Again, it is down to authenticity.

Sainsburys only put there own items on there to promote their own branded products…

Out of 10 ingredients only 3 were branded Sainsbury’s. No doubt they prefer to advertise their own products in their recipes, but by doing that they are causing their own problems as not all Sainsbury’s stock every Sainsbury’s product.

… but you are not expected to only stick to their own brands.

Then their recipes need to be less about self promotion and more about the food, wouldn’t you agree?

I find it ridiculous you went to all that trouble over something so stupid and idiotic, use some common sense.

It amuses me that you find THIS ridiculous but, as you haven’t commented on anything else I’ve ever done, seem to have no issue with any other things I’ve done on this blog.

I’ve made a list of things you’re ok with, and things you don’t seem to be ok with.

You’re ok with these:

I emailed M&Ms to ask them if a single one is called an M?
I emailed Douwe Egberts to suggest that, because the Refill Pack doesn’t actually RE-FILL a jar, they rebrand their refill pack as a Topup pack, using a sticker I made in Microsoft Paint.
I emailed Subway to complain that the Nachos they sold me had been accidentally been baked “at some nuclear power likened to that given off by the sun.” I then also accused them of witchcraft, and emailed them a photo of Doritochu, a Pokemon they had inadvertently created out of welded Nachos.
I emailed Batchelors to ask what the A in cup-a-soup stood for, and asked that they replied in Haiku.
I emailed Flavia when I found that their ridiculous scale of coffee strengths went from 2 to 5, not from 1.

Things you don’t seem ok with:

I emailed Sainsbury’s for not stocking a product that they claim to sell.

Is that just one step too far? You have strange priorities.

I am pleased that my letter to Sainsbury’s has provoked a reaction from someone, but I do find it funny that this has annoyed you, unless you work for Sainsbury’s in which case I can understand your annoyance.

Sainsbury’s should have had more in stock, but they didn’t. Get over it.

Get over it? I’m not the one who seems to be as bothered by it, if I’m honest. You’re the one who seems angered by it. Just to recap what I did… I emailed them, got an inconsistent reply, so I emailed them again. That has been it. If they reply, and their reply doesn’t answer my questions, I’ll probably email them again. If they don’t, I won’t.

Oh, and for future reference – seeing as you’re in the NW, Sains Salford, and Fallowfield stock them, i’ve seen them.

When I asked at the Customer Service desk, they told me that only 2 stores stocked them. They didn’t say that “only 2 stores had them in stock,” but that “only 2 stores stocked them.”

There is a distinct difference between these two statements; she was saying that out of 100-ish stores throughout the North West, only 2 stores are listed as ever selling the plant to start with. The other 98-ish NEVER have any stock in because they are not listed as stocking the plant.

You’re saying that you’ve seen them in what can only be the 2 stores they mentioned? THAT is a great coincidence! I love crazy coincidences like this! When you’re next passing either of them, would you mind taking a photo and proving me wrong?

I’m not going to say I don’t believe you, as I have no reason to doubt you; you probably live near to these stores and so you’re more likely to visit them, whereas I’ve never been to them. If you can take a photo of them in there, I’ll be so grateful!

Email to the M&Ms people – updated

AnotherCraig — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 17:02:53 +0000

You know M&Ms? Of course you do – They’re like mini smarties, but with American chocolate in them. They also differ from mini smarties in that each one has a letter M printed on it.

An individual sweet from a pack of Smarties is called a Smartie, so I wondered if an individual M&M was called an M.

I asked the Internet. I started with Twitter.

Twitter was obviously not the best place to ask such highbrow questions. I asked the same question on Facebook.

I hoped that Scottish Dave, in that he had quite an authoritative title, would have known his facts, but it seems that when questioned he quickly backed down. I have never met Scottish Dave, but after this third-person exchange, I think we would become good friends, if only because I would be able to persuade him to do silly things with little reasoning.

I decided this might be question better presented to the M&M people themselves, so I filled in the “Contact Us” page on their UK site.

Hi there,

Sorry to bother you with what must sound like a trivial question, but is an individual M&M called an M? It can’t be one M&M (singular) because it only has one M printed on it.

Thanks in advance,

Craig.

I clicked Submit, and received this confirmation.

Thank you for sending us your feedback, it is very valuable to us. Please do not hesitate to contact us again, in the meantime, if you have more feedback or questions. We will deal with your query as quickly as we can and and reply to you shortly.

Their site confirmed that they had received my query, but didn’t give me an exact time by which I should have received a reply.

It also contained two “and”s towards the end. Nice move, UK webmaster!

After a few days, and with no reply, I decided that the UK site was probably not the best place to ask. M&Ms, after all, did originate from the US. I asked the same question on the US site. The UK site had contained a gramatical error in it’s confirmation message. Luckily, the US site contained no grammatical errors as far as I could see. It did, however, contain one beautiful error that prevented me reading the confirmation message.

Nice move, US webmaster!

I also asked the official M&Ms facebook page. Maybe one of their 2 million followers knew the answer?

3 days later, I receive the following email:

From: “masterfoodsusa.com”
To: Craig A
Subject: M&M’S CHOCOLATE CANDIES.

Dear Mr. Anderson,

In response to your email regarding M&M’S CHOCOLATE CANDIES.

The trademark/brand name of our sugar-coated lentil-shaped products is “M&M’s”® and thus whether there are many pieces or one piece, each and all of them is/are “M&M’s”®.

You could, and we do, differentiate between one piece and many pieces by saying “a “M&M’s”® candy” or “several “M&M’s”® candies”, the number being indicated by the generic term for the product.

Have a great day!

Your Friends at Mars Chocolate North America

*sighs, slowly looks down, closes eyes and shakes head in despair*

From: Craig
To: “masterfoodsusa”
Subject: M&M’S CHOCOLATE CANDIES.

Hi Masterfoods.

Thanks for replying so quickly. It is great when a huge company such as yours does actually read emails from everyone who emails in. For this, I thank you wholeheartedly. I originally emailed yourselves and the UK devision of Masterfoods with my M&M query. Sadly you, at the bigger division, were the only one who replied. I would have thought that the UK division, in that it covers a far smaller country than you do and therefore probably has far less to do, would have the ability to reply far quicker. Apparently not. Yet another example of where we fall behind the rest of the world when it comes to customer care.

As a thanks to you for replying, I’m going to try my hardest to fit in as many Americanisms as possible. (Sorry, Americanizms!)

Although I AM grateful, if I am being honest your answer frustrates me on so many different levels. Seriously? It is “a “M&M’s”® candy” ? Seriously? I’ve attached a diagram to show potential errors, both grammatical and logical, and used the numbers as reference to the points below:

1) The first thing that frustrates me is the “a”. Regardless of whether your sweet, (sorry, candy,) is called M or M&M, shouldn’t it at least be an “an” at the beginning? When you’re deciding whether to use an “a” or an “an” before a word, the rules are to look at the following word. If, phonetically, the word starts with a vowel sound, then the word before it should be “an”. If it starts with a consonant sound, it should be an “a”. M, as in M&M, is obviously a consonant, so you would think it would have “a” at the beginning, but the letter “M” is pronounced “EMM”, making it a vowel sound, and so it should be preceded with “an.” That is the first thing.

2) Next, the “s” worries me. There are two main possibilities when adding an “s” to the end of a word; either the word is becoming plural, or it indicates that the word belongs to someone. As there is often confusion as to when to use an apostrophe, I’ll address both possibilities. (These are based on my understanding of apostrophes and, as such, may be open to debate.)

WITH the apostrophe , “M&M’s candy” means “a candy belonging to M&M.” It doesn’t actually tell you what the candy is called, just that it belongs to M&M.

WITHOUT the apostrophe it means that there is more than one. If this is how it is meant to read and we ARE talking about a single sweet (sorry, candy), why is it pluralised? (Sorry, pluralized.) IF we’re going with THIS rule, it should be “an M&M”, not “an M&Ms”

3) Why do you put the ® in the title of the individual sweet (candy) ? I can only imagine it is because we are meant to pronounce that too? Are you seriously telling me that one single sweet (sorry, candy) should be called “An M&M’s Registered Trademark Candy”? I understand putting it on your outer packaging to show that the name in its entirety is a registered trademark in case another company wants to steal it, (sorry, have it burglarized,) but if you put it in the name of each swee… candy, I can only assume it is because you want people to pronounce it? Or else why is it there?

At present, each candy is printed with 1 letter M on it. Doesn’t it make more sense, in that you’re already branding them as such, to agree to call it an M? That way your branding AND your name for them would match!

You know your bonkers (zany) TV adverts with the huge anthropomorphic M&Ms talking? Even THEY only have 1 M on their stomachs, AND they even call each other M! Everyone already thinks they’re already called an “M”, and by announcing that you’re calling individual ones “M&Ms” is just going to make people think that you have been incorrectly branding your candies for decades.

In fact, I’ve put together a picture using your own products in an attempt to argue my case:

If I were to invent a candy and print the word “Craig” on each individual one, people would probably called them “a Craig” if there was one or “a few Craigs” if there were a few. At no point would anyone accidentally call an individual one a “Craig & Craig.” It just wouldn’t make sense.

In that it is grammatically incorrect, why not wipe the slate clean and start afresh, rebranding them as Ms.

Go on…. I double dare you!

Craig.

Complaint to Sainsbury’s

AnotherCraig — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:06:11 +0000

Hi Sainsbury’s.

I picked up a few of your recipe cards from my local store, with a view to extending my usually limited diet and trying something new. I am, I have been informed by everyone who has ever tried to cook for me, quite a fussy eater. The recipe that took my fancy, from the great range of recipe cards you stock, was Thai Green Noodle Soup. The photo on the front of the recipe card made it look quite appetising.

The back of the card listed all the ingredients necessary to prepare the meal, and so I set about wandering around the store trying to find them.

If you would like to see the recipe online, it is here – *link removed as recipe has now been taken off site* – Item 5 is the plant in question.

There was just one item on the list that I could’t find in store; “1 red chilli from British living chilli plant by Sainsbury’s”. I wanted to keep the recipe as authentic as possible, and so it was important I used the exact ingredients you listed. I could have gone for a different chilli but, as you listed that plant quite specifically, I wanted to maintain the authenticity of the recipe.

To list THAT chilli as the one to use must mean that rigorous testing had taken place at Sainsbury’s HQ, to see which was the best chilli to use. This one obviously came out on top during a taste test and so for me to use any other chilli would do the recipe a disservice. Maybe a chilli taken straight from a plant is much fresher and the recipe needed that freshness, or maybe it produced a different taste, so any variation from the recipe would mean that I wasn’t trying the recipe as it was intended.

I searched all around the fruit and vegetable area. I found the living herb plants, but no living chilli plants. Then I searched the flower area as, obviously, the chilli plant is a plant and may have been mis-stocked there. It wasn’t there either. I asked an assistant in the fruit and vegetable section, who told me that they didn’t stock them at this store. I left, chilli plant-less.

For a few moments I wondered why you would stock recipe cards in stores, in which you cannot buy all the ingredients.

It wasn’t just an “ingredient”, it was a “Key Ingredient.”

The day after I visited my second nearest store. After yesterday I only needed one more ingredient; the chilli plant. Again, I searched their fruit and vegetable section and, again, I could find the living herbs but not the chilli plants. So I searched the flower area, but to no avail.

I picked up another identical recipe card from this store, and took it to the customer service desk.

“Hi there, I’ve picked this card up…” I pointed to front of the card, “… and on the ingredients on the back…” I flipped the card over, “…it says I should use a chilli from a Sainsburys living chilli plant.” I pointed to the small picture of it on the back. “But I can’t see any chilli plants. Where would they be?”

The assistant took the card off me to look closely at the picture. “They should be over there, near the herbs,” and she pointed the where I’d been.

“I’ve been there and I couldn’t see any,” I frowned.

“Oh?” She seemed shocked. She then went over herself and did a thorough search of the shelves. When she returned she confirmed, “I couldn’t see any either. Let me check the stock.” She went over to the computer on the corner of her desk and started keying things in.

She keyed some things, waited a few seconds, pulled a confused face and keyed more things in. Then she did the same again. This went on for 3 full minutes, keying, confusion, more keying… It seemed that the more she keyed things in the more confused she got. 3 minutes later she returned and the reason for her confusion became clear.

“We don’t seem to stock the chilli plants, but if we did they’d be £3.49″

“They’re £3.49, but you don’t stock them?” as asked for confirmation.

“No, we don’t stock them. Erm, I’ve searched other stores too, and nowhere else stocks them either. I’ve searched The North West.”

“Oh… ok…” I said, not sure whether to ask if the non-existent plants would also be £3.49 in other stores too.

“Well…” she continued, “actually, it says that 2 stores should stock them, but only the Bury store says it has stock in. They have…” she checked the monitor, “yes, they have 0.5 in stock.”

“Only 2 stores out of the entire North West stock them?” I asked, not yet realising that the stock level in the store she mentioned had been an impossible number of items to stock.

“Yes, I’ve searched The North West.” she nodded.

In my head the proverbial penny dropped, “Hang on…. they don’t even have a full plant in stock? They have 0.5 of a plant in stock? How do you stock half a plant?”

She apologised, and so I thanked her for going above and beyond what I had been expecting from a customer service person – she had searched the shelf herself AND searched other stores without me asking her to. I left the store after buying a Curly Wurly.

In that there are roughly 934 Sainsbury’s supermarkets and convenience stores in the UK, (I checked on your site) I’m going to assume there are probably around 100 in the North West as a whole.

Statistically, if the customer service lady is correct and only 2 stores in the North West actually stock them, then that obviously equates to 2% of North West stores.

If ALL your stores stock the recipe cards, why do only 2% of stores stock a key ingredient from the recipe cards? It does kind of make it hard to complete the recipe, doesn’t it?

My main worry is that there are other Sainsbury’s recipes that also contain equally impossible ingredients. How ARE people supposed to authentically replicate the recipes you supply if the ingredients are so impossible to locate? Whats next? Lasagna with Latvian Goats cheese? I hope not; THAT would really frustrate me!

Joking aside, why are the key ingredients to the recipes you supply only stocked in a small percentage of stores?

Thanks,

Craig.

From: “Hayley” <**********@sainsburys.co.uk>
To: Craig Anderson
Subject: RE: Re: Shopping instore

Dear Craig

Thanks for your email. I’m sorry that you couldn’t find the chilli plant required for one of our recipes in your local store. I can understand your concern as my colleague advised that this plant is only available in two of our stores.

The ingredients listed on the recipe cards that we display don’t reflect the stock we have in our stores. We ensure that all the ingredients listed are readily available within the UK even if supply of the particular item is short within our stores.

The recipes on these cards can be suggested to us by top chefs, colleagues, customers and their kids. If the recipe is healthy and tasty, were more than happy to display it.

When my colleague referred to 0.5 of a plant being available within a branch, this means there was 0.5 of a case, a case containing 12 plants therefore the store had 6 plants in stock. I’ve had a look on our stock system and many of our stores have this plant in stock.

I’ve fed your comments back to our buyers to allow them to take your views into consideration when next reviewing the stock of this plant.

We value all customer feedback as it allows us to make any necessary improvements to our products and services. Without customer feedback, we would never know where we needed to improve.

We appreciate you taking the time to get in touch and we look forward to seeing you in store again soon.

Kind regards

Hayley Smith | Customer Manager
twitter.com/sainsburys | facebook.com/sainsburys

From: Craig A
To: Hayley
Subject: RE: Re: Re: Shopping instore

Hi Hayley

I was told that the Chilli Plant was only available in two stores, yet you refer to is being available in many. When you say that many of your stores have this in stock, how do you define “many”? I take “many” to mean there are a lot. What your staff in store told me was that there are “few”, which is the opposite of “many”.

Maybe I’m wrong? Hang on, I’ll get a dictionary… brb….

………mandable, mandatory, mankind, man, man…. ah, here we are…

Many
noun, pronoun
adjective
1. Constituting or forming a large number; numerous: many people.
2. Noting each one of a large number (usually followed by a or an): For many a day it rained.

Now, unless you mean “many” is a passive negative way, as in “Many of the stores didn’t stock it”, or “After shopping around for many hours, the plant remained illusive” I think your definition of “many” differs from the consensus.

I know there is no official chronological classification for vague terms such as these, but I always imagined “many” would fall somewhere between “A few” and “lots.” The amount that the terms related to would change depending on the situation.

As an example, if there were 20 things, I’d imagine “a few” would mean 3 or 4 and “Lots” would be 17-ish, so “Many” would probably be about 12.

If there were 50 things, I’d imagine “a few” would be 7 or 8, “Lots” would be 40-45, so “many” would be 25-30 ish.

There are 100 Sainsburys store in the North West. 2 of them had the plant in stock. That it not “many.” It isn’t even “a few.” It’s more like “hardly any” or “practically none.”

“The ingredients listed on the recipe cards that we display don’t reflect the stock we have in our stores” is another curious point. Surely it would be wise to have SOME correlation? I mean it seems foolish to suggest people make food out of ingredients they cannot get hold of, doesn’t it? The chilli plant, one of your Key Ingredients in a recipe YOU provide, isn’t available in the majority of YOUR stores. That is bonkers!

I suppose you could put a passive-negative spin on it, as you seem to have done with the above “many”, and when someone else asks if you stock it, the in-store customer service people could reply “Yes, yes we do, and it is available in practically none of our stores,” them grin wildly in an attempt to deter customers from questioning the logic.

If you have checked stock, as you say, can you forward me details of which nearby shops currently stock this chilli plant? My postcode is *******.

I look forward to eventually trying your Thai Green Noodle Soup, and am also looking forward to seeing which “many” stores stock it. When you reply to my email with a list of stores, I’ll write them down with a view to calling in a picking a plant up. In preparation for making a list of stores which do stock it, I have a pen by the side of my computer and, in anticipation, a very small piece of paper.

Thanks,

Craig.

—–no reply—–