A while back, a work colleague left. They left behind a collection of pens, pencils, notepads and a hideous featureless ceramic cat.
I decided to ebay it, so below is a copy of the original ebay description including the original pictures that accompanied the auction.
This auction is for the “Spooky Cat”
It is in no way evil, has never shown any sign of possession, and cannot influence events by its mere presence. It’s simply a faceless, expressionless pottery cat, that I have applied red sticky dots to in order to give it a spooky stare.
Oddly, every person that has owned this cat has ended up leaving work for good shortly after inheriting it. It was originally owned by a lady, who got a better job shortly after being given it. She donated it to another lady who ended up retiring a month or so later.
I don’t believe that any of these events were directly influenced by the cat – it’s not as if owning this cat made the retiring woman age rapidly or anything. It was just…. her time.
Although completely inanimate, people tend to develop an affection towards it and stroke it. It has often been cradled by people pretending to show affection, or been spoken to in an affectionate way.
It has also on occasion been left somewhere unexpected so as to scare someone, giving it a true “The Shining” feel. Often I don’t recall moving it myself, but I’m sure I must have because it’s completely inanimate and it isn’t where I left it.
It can be positioned on a car, (as above,) on a work desk, on a window ledge, or on a small table. Or a large table. The only place I’ve found it cannot rest, without looking really conspicuous, is on a lap.
So basically, my reason for selling is that I actually like working where I am at the moment. I don’t want to leave because I enjoy work. REALLY! Everyone who has owned the cat prior to me HAS left or gone on to better things. Why risk potentially being offered a better paid job?
If you’re interested in the dimensions, it’s roughly 20cm tall, and has a 7cm base. It weighs about the same as a “Kerplunk” board game. One with ALL the marbles and sticks.
It took a few days until Spooky Cat got any bids, but as soon as he did,
he was as happy as a mexican at a tortilla convention.
But finally, inevitably, I had to send him to his new home…..
Spooky Cats Last Day.
The votes have been counted and verified, and I can now reveal that the inanimate yet scary statue leaving the office today is…..
Awwwwwww! Don’t worry. I’m sure your new owner will look after you just as much as I do. I mean, it’s not as if selling you to a complete stranger who I’m never likely to meet from the internet is a dangerous thing, is it? Come on, cheer up!
Thats more like it! Now, what do you want to wear to meet your new owner? Your new beard and shades?
Ok, and do you know where you’re going? Got your address thing?
OK, put all your stuff into your envelope, and I’ll get the casket…. er….. I mean, box…..
CAN YOU BREATH OK IN THERE? HELLO? SPOOKY? CAN YOU HEAR ME?
I’M PUTTING YOUR THINGS ON TOP, AND YOU’RE GOING TO GET TAPED UP NOW!
…. and then, at about 4pm, the postman took him away……
Spookys new owner said that if she was able, she would send some pics of him when he’s settled into his new home and true to her word, she did! Here are some pics of my old cat in his new home, along with an email from him!
(He looks settled in already. How DARE he thoroughly enjoy his new home! GRRRRRRR!)
To : badlyspelled.com
Subject : I have arrived safely!!
Date : Tue 18/10/2005 16:31
Long time no sticky tape eh????
Just a quick line to say I arrived safely, and my new home is GRRRREEEAATTT!!!! I have enclosed 2 photos for you to see, and to let you know I am ok, theres lots of other cats here with me, 8 in total,but I am pictured with my ‘gang’ the little white cat at my feet is my bestest friend (hubba hubba):) .
So really I just wanted to say THANKYOU for selling me on Ebay I am truely happy!!
Your Spooky friend
p.s my new white friend is Sassy, and as Spooky no longer fits the bill I have changed my name by deed poll to Stuart, Stu to my friends. BYYEEEE
*Thanks to Missjb for helping him to press the keys