I visit one of your establishments every Tuesday. My favourite filling is the Meatball Marinara so I usually visit when Meatball is the Sub-of-the-Day offer. It just seems the perfect time for me to visit.
I always ask that the sandwich preparation team cut my meatballs in half. This is due to an unfortunate incident a few years ago when, one lunch time, I lifted a sandwich towards my mouth to take a bite, and due to the downward angle at the further-away end, the spherical meatballs rolled out onto the floor. The foot-long bread seemed to act like a big tube while the meatballs, being spherical, took advantage of this chute and made a hasty exit downwards. I don’t blame the meatballs for this but, after aiding the meatballs in their hasty exit, I am now very wary of gravity.
Today, Tuesday 2nd November, I bought my usual Meatball Sub. I asked the preparation team to, as usual, slice my meatballs in half to prevent accidental rolling. (I am, after all, looking to eat them, not recreate a miniature scene from Indiana Jones with them.) I paid, as usual, swiped my Subcard, as usual, and made my way back to the office bistro to eat.
When back, I took a bite out of the sub and my teeth found what is best described as an incredibly solid object hiding in the sandwich.
Concerned, (as a Meatball Marinara usually only contains soft edible balls of meat and salad of my choosing,), I dissected the footlong sandwich to find out what the object was. I located the hard lump and removed it from the sandwich to examine it. The item I found was, quite possibly, the worlds hardest meatball.
In fact, the term “Meatball” does it an injustice. Calling it a “Stoneball” or a “Meatrock” would more appropriate. I have attached a photo of the Meatrock for your perusal.
I cleaned it and, in order to demonstrate it’s solidity, tapped it onto the table. On hearing the knocking a colleague looked up towards the door, mistaking the meatball noise for a door knocker. It was genuinely solid. I showed it to the colleague. They had initially only heard the knocking noise and on first glance, seeing the brown sphere at my fingertips, he thought it was a conker.
If thrown, a normal meatball wouldn’t do much damage to a person. I can confidently say that, if thrown, the newly discovered Meatrock could EASILY hurt a kitten, or even have a child’s eye out.
Joking aside, it rendered the sandwich inedible and I was unable to finish a footlong meal I paid for. Very disappointing, Subway.
In retrospect, the member of the sandwich preparation team who initially prepared my footlong sandwich did appear to experience trouble when cutting the meatballs in half for me. They seemed to struggle as their knife couldn’t cut it, yet they still included it in my sandwich.
I do worry that if someone other than myself had bitten into the sandwich with more ferocity, a serious injury may have arisen. It is small enough for a person to choke on and genuinely hard enough to break teeth.
I would like someone to get back to me with details of company policy relating to customer complaints, as the standard of the inedible sandwich I received on Tuesday was unacceptable.
I have the meatball safe in my desk at work, should you wish it returned for examination after this issue has been rectified.
Subject: Customer Service Form Confirmation from Subway.com
Date: Wednesday, 3 November, 2010, 7:48
Thank you for contacting SUBWAY® Restaurants. Your feedback is important
to the SUBWAY® brand and your recent inquiry has been forwarded to the
appropriate areas for further review.
The Customer Care Team
325 Bic Drive
Milford, CT 06461 USA