A family moved in next door to me. It was a bloke and a woman, and they had a dog and a couple of young children. The adults were taking things out of a large transit van parked at the end of their drive and taking them into their house, while the dog watched on and the kids played.
I had to nip out to the shop or something, so I opened my front door and stepped outside. The humans didn’t see me initially because they had just taken something big into the house, but their dog saw me and bounded over for a chat. He put his front two paws on the dividing fence and I rubbed his head in that way that dogs seem to really enjoy. I may have also put on a cute voice and asked him what his name was, knowing full well that he was unlikely to address this.
While I was greeting the dog, the woman came out of her house, saw me stroking her dog and the conversation went like this:
(scene : Front of a house. There is a dog on the front drive of the neighbouring house, and a large van parked on the road at the end of the drive. I stroke the happy dog and it wags it’s tail. A woman comes out of the neighbouring house.)
Woman : Oy!
Me : Hi, are you ok?
Woman : What are YOU looking at?
Me : Well, you now.
Woman : Why are YOU looking at ME?!?
Me : Because you’re talking to me.
Woman : Well STOP LOOKING AT ME!
Me : Well, stop talking to me.
Woman : WHY SHOULD I?
Me : Because… you want me to stop looking at you?
(Woman snatches the dog and goes indoors.)
And that is how I met my neighbours.